Finding Muchness in the Clouds

As a child I was a cloud gazer...just what you would expect from a child. I looked up to the clouds and viewed them as friends. I looked up wide-eyed, full of wonder and with an open heart. I was a child with high hopes and even some dreams...this is what makes a cloud gazer. There was no limit to what one could see in the clouds. Who we are help us to shape the clouds in our lives and what we see. I am not sure when I stopped being a cloud gazer...that seems to be lost somewhere in time. But, at 43 years old I have once again become a cloud gazer. It brings back to my life a sense of "muchness"...something that at this point in my life really counts. Muchness--a borrowed term but one that is so fitting that I had to keep it and make it mine. Once I heard the term I realized that just perhaps that my own muchness had gotten lost along the way. As I am searching for my lost muchness I look to the clouds. Seeing their shapes, their sizes, I realize how short lived they are. There one moment and the next, they are gone...gone forever...taking on another form, another personality. Never one to ever be duplicated again...just like a day in life but more fleeting. I often spend time wondering where the clouds above me have come from--how far did they travel to meet my eyes and how many different shapes must they have taken on? I can compare myself to a cloud in that there are many faces and many moods...The bright blue sky is but a back drop to the scene but not always seen, but yet it is a constant. Clouds and shadows lend to color and depth. Some days light hearted and serene, some days melancholy and gray, and yet other days filled with fury. They show their moods--their human-ness. But a cloud is a cloud and all have a personality no less. Free floating and free changing forms with no worry or even a concept of time. Drifters they be as they seemingly drifty by unconsciously. To be a cloud for a day--drifting, floating, no worries, a form of many shapes--to be a wisp--a wisp of a cloud. The feelings of pleasantry that I get from just the mere thought of it makes me giddy..as giddy as a 43 year old cloud gazer can be...I see a glimpse of my muchness...